Can we talk about the dark side of parenting a child with ADHD/ LD/ Anxiety?
Can we talk about the elephant in the room?Can we be honest and say that we are emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted without feeling like we are failing?
Can we be honest and say sometimes we just want to run away from the chaos of our lives?
Can we be honest and say that we are tired of being the Executive Functioning coach for our children day in and day out?
Can we be honest and say how alone we feel some days?
Can we be honest and say that when we see the school’s number come up on our display we just want to scream and shout and sometime just cry?
Can we be honest and say that we are tired of meeting with teachers, meeting with therapists, meeting with specialists?
Can we be honest and say that we are tired of having to explain our children to teachers, to our parents, to coaches, to all the people in our lives?
Can we be honest and say that all these feelings make us feel guilty, make us feel selfish when we know how much our child is suffering?
Can we just say that this is frickin hard?Well, mama, I give you permission to be brutally honest, to say how you are feeling without any guilt and / or shame.Parenting a child with ADHD/ LD / Anxiety or whatever label society wants to put on our kids, is damn hard and that is a fact. It leaves us battered and bruised. It leaves us feeling like we have nothing left to give. It leaves us feeling like we are swimming upstream in a strong downward current and that we are constantly drowning.
There I said it and I want you all to say it out loud. We have to acknowledge how we are feeling. We have to be honest with ourselves so that we can be the parent that we want to be and the parent that our child needs us to be. When we are not honest, when we operate from a place of shame / guilt we are unable to see things for what they are and take the right action. We get stuck in the tunnel of despair and hopelessness and it swallows us and our kids up with it.
So here is what we need to do:
1. Acknowledge how we are feeling – no more sweeping it under the carpet, no more pretending that we are fine when we are not.
2. Stop feeling guilty about the tsunami of emotions that we are experiencing and rather accept them as part of this journey. There will be good days and there will be days that just suck.
3. Stop buying into the BS of our mind that we are failing – we are not failing, we are just struggling and that is part of being a parent to a child with ADHD / LD/ Anxiety.
4. Get the support that we need to help us be the parent that we want to be. Connect with mom’s who are going through what you are going through, connect with mom’s who you can be brutally honest with, connect with mom’s who will not judge you for saying today I am hating being a parent to an ADHD / LD child.
5. Learn as much as we can about how we can help our kids be the best version of themselves. Podcast, Webinars, books, blogs,you tube – we have to acquire the knowledge cause know one else is going to do it for us.
Now that the we have addressed the elephant in the room, we can move forward with a strategy to knock this parenting thing out of the ball park, one day at a time, one small win at a time.
Drop me a fist pump if you are with me on this.From the diary of Allison Solomon: The joys of being a parent to a child with ADHD
FB: THE MOM MATRIX – tired of feeling overwhelmed, feeling like a failure, looking for a roadmap to rock this ADHD parenting journey..then you have come to the right place!