Can we talk about the dark side of parenting a child with ADHD/ LD/ Anxiety?
Can we talk about the elephant in the room?Can we be honest and say that we are emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted without feeling like we are failing?
Can we be honest and say sometimes we just want to run away from the chaos of our lives?
Can we be honest and say that we are tired of being the Executive Functioning coach for our children day in and day out?
Can we be honest and say how alone we feel some days?
Can we be honest and say that when we see the school’s number come up on our display we just want to scream and shout and sometime just cry?
Can we be honest and say that we are tired of meeting with teachers, meeting with therapists, meeting with specialists?
Can we be honest and say that we are tired of having to explain our children to teachers, to our parents, to coaches, to all the people in our lives?
Can we be honest and say that all these feelings make us feel guilty, make us feel selfish when we know how much our child is suffering?
Can we just say that this is frickin hard?Well, mama, I give you permission to be brutally honest, to say how you are feeling without any guilt and / or shame.Parenting a child with ADHD/ LD / Anxiety or whatever label society wants to put on our kids, is damn hard and that is a fact. It leaves us battered and bruised. It leaves us feeling like we have nothing left to give. It leaves us feeling like we are swimming upstream in a strong downward current and that we are constantly drowning.
There I said it and I want you all to say it out loud. We have to acknowledge how we are feeling. We have to be honest with ourselves so that we can be the parent that we want to be and the parent that our child needs us to be. When we are not honest, when we operate from a place of shame / guilt we are unable to see things for what they are and take the right action. We get stuck in the tunnel of despair and hopelessness and it swallows us and our kids up with it.
So here is what we need to do:
1. Acknowledge how we are feeling – no more sweeping it under the carpet, no more pretending that we are fine when we are not.
2. Stop feeling guilty about the tsunami of emotions that we are experiencing and rather accept them as part of this journey. There will be good days and there will be days that just suck.
3. Stop buying into the BS of our mind that we are failing – we are not failing, we are just struggling and that is part of being a parent to a child with ADHD / LD/ Anxiety.
4. Get the support that we need to help us be the parent that we want to be. Connect with mom’s who are going through what you are going through, connect with mom’s who you can be brutally honest with, connect with mom’s who will not judge you for saying today I am hating being a parent to an ADHD / LD child.
5. Learn as much as we can about how we can help our kids be the best version of themselves. Podcast, Webinars, books, blogs,you tube – we have to acquire the knowledge cause know one else is going to do it for us.
Now that the we have addressed the elephant in the room, we can move forward with a strategy to knock this parenting thing out of the ball park, one day at a time, one small win at a time.
Drop me a fist pump if you are with me on this.From the diary of Allison Solomon: The joys of being a parent to a child with ADHD
FB: THE MOM MATRIX – tired of feeling overwhelmed, feeling like a failure, looking for a roadmap to rock this ADHD parenting journey..then you have come to the right place!
12 thoughts on “Tips for Parents of ADHD Children -Lets be Real with ourselves”
Fist pump with you! Reading your post helps me to understand what I can do for myself and my kids. Being a parent to our children with ADHD / LD/ Anxiety is an achievement to grow them as the best person can be. Helping them to achieve a better life as they grow will make us parent proud.
Thank you so much for sharing us an interesting and informative article. The main theme of this article is Tips For Parents Of ADHD Children. It is really laudable that you have illustrated this topic so well in your article. I have learned a lot by reading your article and gained a lot of cognition about it. Of the points mentioned in your article, I like What We Need To Do. Your article will play a very important role for Parents Of ADHD Children. Every tip here will play an important role in being a parent which I am saying from my real experience.
thank you so much for such an informative article content. There are many parents out there with children with ADHD/LD and they are looking for ways to better the lives of their children and how best they can assist them as they grow up. I feel you have done justice by core focusing on what should be done to improve the parenting skills which will benefit the kids and have less straining on the parents. I did not know anything about ADHD/LD but by reading the information you provided l have gained an insight. Keep on the great work.
I can tell very much that it is not easy for the parents even though many of the times thy are only trying to be strong for their kids and that is exactly what the world would expect from them. The way you have discussed this really goes a long way to tell us that there are ways to be able to help out kids get better but one that I totally agree with is to do it with love. These kids need lots of love so they can get better and if they can get this then every other things gets easier.
Raising a child with ADHD can be a challenge for several parents and it they do not know what to do or how to go about it they fail in raising their child in the right way so it is good that you have shared this article as I’m sure it will be especially helpful to many parents out who have no inkling of how to raise their children with ADHD.
beautiful inspiring and very motivating text, written with a lot of empathy and understanding of parents who are not at all easy, because ADHD can really be very complicated for both the child and the parents. The most important thing is to surround yourself with people who will understand your situation and not judge you. Many parents face this problem and we should know that we are not alone.
Hey Trud . Thank you for stopping by. You are very right the company you keep is very crucial It can help or break you and the child .
Hello Alison, I have to say thank you for such a wonderful article. It’s truly not an easy task for parents who have such a defect their kids to deal with and truly the mental stress is something they’ll keep dealing with for long. I like the fact that you’ve brought the truth out here and so parents can learn
This is really great to see out here. It is never easy to see things like this out here. In all honesty, I fancy all that you have shared with us and it makes so much sense in all. To make it more better, I have a sister whose child suffers from ADHD. It would be almost perfect to have this shared with her. Thank you for the tips here
Thank you for stopping by The Incredible Boy .
ADHD can be a serious challenge . Yes please share with your sister. Hope she get some strength from it.
Thank you for the encouragement. My nephew has been diagnosed with ADHD and it totally freaked out his mom. The main issue here is the low awareness of mental health in the place we live in. It’s easy for other parents to judge the parent as a failure because the kids “aren’t healthy”. It’s sad, really. I will text his mom your article here. Hopefully, she will try to connect with other parents who won’t judge here. Thanks
Thank you for stopping by The Incredible boy. I hope your sister find some strength from this article. With the right information and community the challenge of raising ADHD kids can be better.